I fart when I am near you

When I was visiting San Francisco this past week I noticed I was really gassy.  Being around lots of people, I tend to hold in more of my farts.  This is bad.  Because ultimately, all that gas HAS to go somewhere.  I get real gassy and when I try to poop, it turns out to be just gas.  Do you wipe up after passing a bunch of gas? I don't know.

Where do you go?

When I am sitting on a couch, car seat, or any chair that has a cushion and/or fabric, sometimes I let one slip but I make sure to push it deep into the chair. It seems to not only muffle the sound but it also hides the stank. But I learned in high school about the conservation of mass. Basically, it says that mass is never lost. I wonder where these farts go. Maybe to another dimension? It would suck to live in that dimension.

Dog farts not bombs

If the military could bottle up dog farts to unleash on the enemy there would be no need for bullets or bombs. When a dog fart smell explodes in someone's face it would be so disorienting, the enemy would just drop to the ground and beg for mercy.

Funny fart quotes

"Dude, you need to shut your asshole."
-Farty McFly

"You could have sailed a ship with that wind"

Dog face replay

Another fart blog!

who farted

Dog reacts to fart

Special Power

I heard an enormous fart (it sounded like someone riding one of those large choppers!).
I asked my dad if he ripped a hole in his pants with his crazy gas.
His reply verbatim:
"I wish I could make hole in my pants. Then I could have special power and make money."
September 10,2008
-father of Gas Master