Dog reacts to fart

Special Power

I heard an enormous fart (it sounded like someone riding one of those large choppers!).
I asked my dad if he ripped a hole in his pants with his crazy gas.
His reply verbatim:
"I wish I could make hole in my pants. Then I could have special power and make money."
September 10,2008
-father of Gas Master

Recipe for a Perfect Fart

1 c. cold lentil salad with onions and carrots
1/2 c. minced collard greens with pine nuts
7 slightly undercooked brussels sprouts with whole roasted garlic cloves and pancetta
half of Chris's salami-softcheese-butter panino on white bread [pretty sure I have wheat and dairy allergies, and 10 years of vegetarianism seems to have killed my ability to digest meat]
1/4 c. beet salad
big thing of carbonated Limonata
Fro-Yo with "snozzberries"

Combine all in stomach at one delicious yet unwise sitting. Commence to grumble and moan loudly as stomach bloats to pseudo-pregnant proportions. Let loose catastrophically stinky and earth-shatteringly loud farts for hours on end. Wake up following morning still farting.

Serves 1.
Repels 1.

Sulphur Chicken

I just let out a fart that Chris said smelled like a Sulphur Chicken... so I fear that is my new nickname.

Bunnies fart too

proof

It's not appendicitis, it's gas!

The other night, I had such bad abdominal pain I was screaming and crying my head off.  Since it was on the lower right side, my honey started frantically web-researching appendicitis.  I seemed to have all the symptoms, and we considered heading to the hospital.  Then, suddenly,

PPHHBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLATTTTTTTTTTTPHHHHHHHH*poof*

I farted out my "appendix".  An hour later the pain was gone, but my honey was left in a choking miasma of my swamp gas.  

I hear Ganbun had this happen, too, but actually made it into the hospital and had the ER doctor inform her it was just gas.  Care to share? 

Fartsy...

Chatty